Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
