kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
