So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
