Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
