I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he fucked my hip out of place.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
