either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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