Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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