Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
