I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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