I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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