I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
