I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
