Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
