The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
