do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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