remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
