So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
