Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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