Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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