This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
