There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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