The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
