we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
