worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
