I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
