I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
