Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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