You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
