i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
