I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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