Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
