Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
