Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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