Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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