The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
zippers are such a cool invention
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
