Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
