I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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