it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
