Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
