ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize