she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
