He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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