it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
