I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
