He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.