yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
