A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize