I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
