I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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