i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
