I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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