Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize