i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
