I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
