Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.