Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.