We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?