i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out