You're so nebulous sometimes
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!