Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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