you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize