I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Found the puke drawer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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