Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
