Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
