When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
