playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
