That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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