So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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