I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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