we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
