Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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