No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
